


she's my light in the dark (guiding me home)

by baeminhyuk



Series: there's something about you and me [14]
Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F, Lisa-centric, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pre-debut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 01:46:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16588400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeminhyuk/pseuds/baeminhyuk
Summary: Okay, look, everyone's heard about Jennie’s last evaluation.





	she's my light in the dark (guiding me home)

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is just a random short fic set around two years before their debut. it's a light one, a break of sorts from the plot-heavy fics i did before this, exploring the dynamic between j and l before blackpink got formed. please enjoy!

 

Lisa’s running through her final evaluation piece, which is stupid, really, since her turn was two weeks ago and she's just waiting to hear back now. (CEO Yang said she did very well, though, so she's got a good feeling.) The studio at YG headquarters just has so much more space than their dorm’s practice room, and the floor is better. Sure, Sajangnim was all 'let's spare no expense', but that doesn't mean their dorm’s studio is a state-of-the-art thing. They’re trainees. Polished hardwood and mirrored walls are considered top of the line, only for the pros.

God, she sounds like an ungrateful little baby, doesn't she?

She's just about finished when she notices Jennie standing in the doorway with her bag over her shoulder. She looks like she might want the space — she's wearing sweats and a workout crop top — but even when Lisa stops, Jennie’s kind of just standing there, staring at the floor. Lisa thought the older girl was watching her feet before, but now she's pretty sure that Jennie’s just zoning out.

Okay, look, everyone's heard about Jennie’s last evaluation. Lisa feels so,  _so_ bad for her. Not only because she knows how nervous she was for her own, and how much pressure was on her — or how much pressure she felt, anyway. It sucked and she actually threw up right after it, not that she'll tell _anyone_ that. But god. Jennie's  _so_  good. If anyone in the world deserved to be in YG and debut, it's her. Hell, she probably doesn't even _need_ this company, which is just even more of an indication that she's too good to be overlooked just because she messed up _one_ song number. Surely to god that crazy man Yang Hyun Suk could tell how talented Jennie is based on what she'd already performed, right?

Anyway.

"Do you need the space, unnie? I was just about to go."

"What?" Jennie’s eyes snap up and then she shakes her head. "No. I was just... That was really wonderful, Lisa-ya. What you just did."

"Thank you,” Lisa says, and wipes her temple with her fist. She’s not stupid enough to mention the word ‘evaluation’. "Were you going to do something here, unnie?”

Jennie shrugs her shoulder and takes a step inside, then another. It's almost like Lisa doesn't wanna spook her, so she doesn't say anything else or make any sudden moves. "I saw that the light was on as I was passing."

"You look dressed to dance, though."

Jennie lets out this sad laugh and shakes her head as she runs her hand along the bar. "I don't really feel like it, to be honest."

"No?"

The younger girl just watches her shake her head. Then she eyes the line of Jennie’s body, but not in a gross way or anything. She just notices the Korean girl’s posture and the way she points her toes when she walks, and how delicate her hand is. She notices stuff like that about other people all the time. It's not weird. She sees everyone as a dancer until they prove they have no rhythm.

Okay, maybe that is weird.

"Come on. One song, Jennie.” Lisa walks towards the other girl, grinning just a little, and Jennie has this panicked look on her face.

"No," she says. If Lisa thought Jennie really meant it, she wouldn't push her. "Lisa, I..." Lisa takes her bag from her and sets it on the ground, then reaches out for her hand. "I know what you're trying to do, and I don't think it would help."

"Do you have your phone with you? Pick a song."

" _Lisa-ssi_."

"Okay, well, I have mine."

No, she’s not going to let Jennie cop out of this. She needs to face what happened. She's been  _thinking_  about it non-stop, but just thinking about it isn't going to help her get over it. Yeah, it happened, and it hurts, and it'll stay with her for a while, but she can't just stop performing. Jennie owes it to herself and how fucking  _talented_  she is to keep performing. Hell, she owes it to the rest of them to keep performing. Not just because without her YG is pretty much hopeless, but because seriously, it'd kind of be a slap in the face to the less talented people in the company if she just sat on all this stuff she has inside her and never did anything with it.

People would kill for her kind of natural, all-around talent, and Lisa’s just not gonna let her flush it down the drain.

Lisa doesn't let go of the Jennie's hand as she walks across the studio to the dock she's been using for her music. Jennie tries to pull her hand away, but not very hard. If she really wanted to bail, she could. Lisa’d really rather she just let her try and help her. Everyone else has done it by  _talking_ , and they've gotten nowhere. Lisa's good at conversations and everything, but sometimes...

This isn't lame and Lisa stopped thinking it was, like three years ago: Sometimes she thinks people just communicate better when they're _dancing_.

She puts on this Laura Izibor song she figures Jennie’s never heard. It's slow, not like the fast-paced hip-hop and R&B she's used to, but it's got all this emotion in it, and it's easy to move to. The lyrics are kind of amazing, and it's got this gospel feel to it that pretty much means it's impossible not to feel at least a little bit _moved_  when you're listening to it.

Jennie's already got tears in her eyes when Lisa turns back to her.

"Think you can keep up, Jennie-ya?" Lisa asks with a small smile on her face, then stands behind Jennie and gets into position. She can kind of see this whole routine with her playing out in her head right now.

"No," Jennie says emphatically.

Lisa just sets one hand on her hip and takes the older girl’s right hand in her other. She doesn't believe Jennie.

For a girl who said that she didn't feel like dancing, Jennie sure as hell does a phenomenal job at it.

And it's not like Lisa choreographed this beforehand and they practiced it or anything. Jennie’s toe scuffs on the floor once or twice, and Lisa misses catching her hand a couple of times, but _god_ , she can see this in her mind, moving with Jennie in this like, really lyrical, fluid way. What they do is just kind of however they feel like moving on the fly. She leads and Jennie follows, though, so there are elements of this routine in her head that she actually pulls out of Jennie without even having to tell her what she wants. It's as if their bodies were connected, wordlessly keeping each other in sync. It's pretty crazy, really.

You _cannot_ tell Lisa — and no one could even try — that all this doesn't come naturally to Jennie.

She's known Jennie for years, knows her longer and better than almost anybody, and she's sure that Jennie  _needs_ this.

Lisa lets her go when the choir crests, and Jennie dances out the last few bars of the song on her own, and she looks, honestly, fucking  _beautiful_  doing it. Every move she makes is dripping with passion; it's kind of hard to not to stare. When she drops to the floor to do a back roll, Lisa's breath catches in her throat. There are tears coming down Jennie's face, and you'd think that it would make it hard to look at her, but it just somehow adds to all of this.

This  _is_  Jennie Kim. Performing is what she needs to do; it's how she feels things and how she expresses herself, and she's literally the best performer Lisa’s ever seen in the flesh.

Jennie is just standing in front of the mirror with her hands at her sides, crying, and Lisa can't just leave her there like that.

She’s behind the black-haired girl, so she walks up and wraps her arms around Jennie’s shoulders, presses her chest against her back. This like, heartbreaking sob escapes Jennie’s throat and her hands come up to sit on Lisa’s arms. Her eyes are squeezed closed tight, but then when she opens them, she looks at Lisa in the mirror. It just lasts a couple seconds, their eyes locked, and then she leans her head back and Lisa’s cheek is kind of pressed against her temple.

"Can you just stay here with me while I cry?" she asks.

Lisa shouldn't laugh. Jennie’s being totally serious and she shouldn't laugh. But seriously, hasn't she done enough crying?

So she says, "No," and Jennie looks at her in the mirror again. The blond girl pulls her arms away and then ends up just setting her hands on Jennie’s hips so she can move her body to where she wants it. "If we're staying here, we're working on this number together."

That gets a tiny smile from the older girl. "What?"

"I have an idea," Lisa says, and watches Jennie wipe her eyes, then rub her hands on her pants. "Can I?"

"Can you  _what_?"

Okay, that's _definitely_ a smile.

"Choreograph you. Us."

Jennie swallows, like this is going to hurt her or something, and hell, maybe it will, a little bit. But Lisa thinks Jennie knows it'll help more than anything, because the older girl nods her head and Lisa grins at her in the mirror before she jogs over and sets her music player to repeat the song over and over.

Jennie's the perfect student and the best partner. Maybe it's her mood, but she's really good at just listening to her and letting her work this out for them. She eventually makes a couple suggestions to her, and Lisa knows she's into this, and she ends up laughing when Lisa's trying to do this one move with her. Apparently she's ticklish right _there_ , on this spot at the back of her hip.

Seeing Jennie laugh is kind of _amazing_ , if Lisa’s being honest. It makes her heart beat a little quicker in her chest every time.

They're both drenched in sweat after a few rounds, and the taller girl has peeled off her sweater and is wearing just a sleeveless shirt, and Jennie's hair is pulled up and the short strands are curling around her temples from the beads of sweat on her skin. When they're done, though, the whole routine looks _fantastic_.

It's dark outside and the janitors are the only people left at the studio floor, but Lisa’s done this before, stayed this late, and she knows Jennie has, too, even more than her because she doesn't see worried about it at all.

"You know," Jennie says as they grab their things, “Chaeyoung-ah would sound great singing that song. She could put her own spin on it."

Lisa grins at her and holds the door so she can walk through. "I was thinking Jisoo-unnie could too.”

"Oh my god." She gives her this amazing smile, her eyes all wide in a way that would have scared the crap out of her four years ago. "They could duet while we dance it together."

"They could."

"I'm going to start arranging it tonight. Oh,  _oh_ , I thought of a really good harmony for it. I'll hum it to you and you tell me what you think, okay?"

Lisa hooks her arm through Jennie's as they walk through the parking lot, and she knows that Jennie’s got all this in her head, and that when they get back to their dorm she'll literally draw out a staging concept and notate the arrangement for everything. Lisa can't help feeling that Jennie’s getting back to her old self, her  _true_  self, even if she's not jumping at the chance to sing something on her own. She'll get there. Lisa's sure of it and she'll be there when Jennie does.

Lisa just thinks Jennie should dance more often.

 

**Author's Note:**

> title is adapted from the song mentioned in the story, ['mmm...'](https://open.spotify.com/track/4GqSIHouNCZDfNaaG415X7?si=aehmYGfWSlGshvg37C3Kwg) by laura izibor.
> 
> j crying at the end of day 2 of their seoul concert + the solo teaser of her [dancing contemporary](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-qkhikB3Zk) (my inspiration for her dancing scene), got me so emotional :(
> 
> this is a really simple fic but if you squint, you could work out the silent love and understanding between j and l. anyway, tell me what you think of this! thanks as always :)


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